Whether
we like to admit it or not, most of us have suffered a knock to our confidence
at least once throughout our professional lives. If you’re a student partway through your academic career, this may have taken the shape of receiving a
lower mark than average on an assignment you spent weeks perfecting. If you’re
an entry-level worker, perhaps you weren’t put forward for that promotion you applied
for. Whatever stage of your professional life you’re at, we all have one thing
in common: our confidence has taken knocking once or twice.
For me,
this happened most severely just a few months ago. As a student who (mostly)
sailed through university, I was fairly used to being congratulated on my
successes. I don’t mean that to sound big headed, but it’s very easy to get
used to people pointing out your strong points. This set me up with a positive
outlook on the graduate job hunt, and I embarked upon that challenge with an
optimistic attitude, excited for the possibilities of what might be to come. Therefore, I was obviously elated
when I was invited to an interview for one of the very first jobs I applied for: a job that I really, really wanted.
Having
had a successful telephone interview with an employee at “the company that shall
not be named”, I was soon on my way to their London offices, prepped and primed
with a presentation to deliver on a topic of their choice, a presentation that
I had spent the entire weekend working on.
It was
one of the best interviews I’d ever had. My presentation went swimmingly, and I
could answer all of their questions substantiated with examples from my
previous experiences. They were clearly impressed with the preparation I had
done, and my enthusiasm for the role was infectious.
As a
result of all this, I was delighted (and admittedly slightly unsurprised) when one
of my interviewers rang me just a few days later and offered me the job. Everything had worked out as planned: I was mid-way through an internship that
I wasn’t exactly loving, and could hand in my notice safe in the knowledge that
in just a few short weeks I would be employed in the job of my dreams at a
company I was honoured to be representing. Pay was discussed, benefits were detailed,
and I could not wait to embark upon my professional career: just a few short
weeks after finishing university.
Looking
back, perhaps I was a bit naïve, but I was so excited to start my new job that I
suppose my vision was slightly clouded by enthusiasm. Perhaps I should have seen
the signs: they didn’t immediately send me through a contract, no fixed start
date was proffered, and communication ground to an almost-halt. Still, I was so
enthused that I put it down to busy staff and waited patiently for further
instruction.
Which of
course never came. And that’s not even the worst of it…
I was eating
lunch on the final day of my dreaded internship, so happy to finally be waving goodbye to the role that had taken up
all of my time since leaving university. My phone buzzed and – hoorah! – it was
my future colleague calling from my new workplace, finally ready to pass on
details of when I could start. Or so I thought…
In
actually, she was calling to ever-so-apologetically inform that the company I
been offered the job by had undergone major restructuring and so – completely
out of her control – my job role had been terminated. It essentially no longer
existed. So, not only would I not be starting immediately, I - in fact - would not be working there at all.
Just
like that. They offered me a job and took it away. They devised a role, went
through the time-consuming and costly recruitment process, invited me in not
once but twice and pretty formally offered me the job. And in about 2.5
minutes, they took it away, without so much as a backward glance.
I had
never felt shock like it, which sounds dramatic as I had only really been living
under the impression that I would be working there for a mere few weeks but,
when you set your hopes on something, it can be hard to accept when it is taken
away so abruptly. In floods of tears (which is a big deal for me because I
rarely cry) I immediately rang my parents and took comfort in the fact that
they were just as shocked as me, outraged at how poorly their daughter had been
treated, having essentially quit an internship to pursue a job that had been terminated,
leaving me with nothing.
I tried
to focus on the positive: did I really want to work for a company that would so
quickly drop a member of staff? Probably not. Did I want to work for an organisation that
so clearly lacked basic communication skills, to the point that one department
was recruiting a new candidate while another was cutting jobs like items off a
grocery list? No, no I didn’t. But that didn’t make it any harder to accept.
The real
consequence of the company’s careless action was that it tainted my outlook on
getting a job. Where I was so eager to start, so enthusiastic about
embarking on my career, I found myself anxious and restrained. Every new job I
came across, I would compare responsibilities, location and pay: idolising my former
job role, raising it to lofty heights that simply couldn’t be reached by any
other. The whole experience left me with a bitter taste in my mouth, reluctant
to risk further knock backs by applying for more jobs and picking out the
negatives in any potential jobs that I considered applying for.
But, me
being me, I craved routine and soon dusted myself off and restarted the job
hunt, putting it down to experience. I’d be lying if I said I was completely over
it, it still has the power to put me in a bad mood if I dwell on it for too long,
but one thing I can say for sure is that its strengthened my resilience and thickened
my skin, which in a weird way I’m grateful for.
I’ll
finish, as always, with the lessons that can be taken from my unfortunate experience.
First and foremost, while we all have our “dream” jobs, I would say that it’s
important not to allow one position to become the be-all and end-all, because
if it does fall through, the aftermath can be wholly demoralising. Secondly, I’ve
learnt about the importance of being resilient and being able to pick yourself up
and dust yourself off in the face of adversity. And finally, I’ve learnt that
determination is key. I’m now in the stage of life where I’m attending job
interviews on an almost weekly basis, and my excitement and anticipation for
what might be out there – for what I might achieve – has been well and truly
restored.
So, if
you’ve just finished uni or are perhaps thinking of taking a career swerve,
then I'd advise you to embark upon that adventure with an open mind and a
positive outlook. Things may not always go your way, in fact, you might end up going
in a direction you never thought possible; but what if that destination is where
you were meant to be all along?
Happy
Hunting!
E x
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